親愛的老爸

我爸今年80歲了, 一個月前突然每天早上都發燒, 上星期六做 MRI 竟發現胰臟癌腫瘤已5.4x6.6cm.

很心疼. 我爸一直是個溫柔守本份的好好先生, 肚子上卻因開過多次刀而留下長長短短的刀疤, 20年前因乘坐公車237緊急煞車撞倒腰部大出血, 割除脾臟, 17年前發現肝癌開刀切除腫瘤及胃的1/3, 術後他選擇不化療 只因我們小孩那時還小 靠意志力成功渡過了一次又一次了追蹤, 奇蹟似地活了下來, 3年前膽結石又開了一次刀. 這一次, 外科醫師說, 沒辦法開刀.

MRI of the abdomen in multiple planes and sequences with and without IV contrast enhancement;
Mass lesion noted at the pancreatic head measuring about 5.4x6.6cm causing obstruction with dilatation of the bilateral IHDs, CBD and pancreatic duct. Pancreatic Ca is considered.
No obvious encasement of the SMA.
Patent Portal vein.
Tiny cysts in the bilateral kidneys.
Enlarged pararotic and aortocaval lymph nodes.
The gallbladder and spleen are not demonstrated

我想到就哭, 女兒才快要四個月, 弟媳也將於五月生產, 我多希望老爸至少再活三年, 至少看到他的孫子孫女叫他一聲爺爺.